Hey there! It’s been four weeks since I wrote about making a plan for the year: starting the year on the front foot. I thought what better time to see how you are going with that. You may still be skeptical. Why? Why do I need to make a plan, Emma? I really do believe making a plan and setting goals is important as it can set you up for a happy life. No-more aimless meandering though life, letting others or your circumstance take the lead. I have noticed those in my life who set goals are happier. They are making plans on doing more of what makes them happy, and making a plan to better themselves.
Did you know people are more likely to make progress on goals that are broken down into concrete, measurable actions, with some kind of structured accountability and positive reinforcement. Yep, that’s right. Write them down. Make them plain on paper. Be accountable, and celebrate success, regardless of how small it may be. You are on a journey of discovery and progress.
I reviewed my goals for the first time since I wrote them today, and the area I seem to be doing well in is relationships. See how I focused on the positive. It would be easy to concentrate on where I have fallen short, however I believe if you focus on where you are doing well, you will be more enthusiastic to work on the other areas.
The most important element to happiness is social bonds, which includes your marriage, parenting, and friendships. Happy people make better friends, colleagues, and citizens. I want to be one of those people. In the area of relationships, I seem to making progress with making our marriage a priority.
I’m not a perfect wife. Far from it. However I am making a conscious effort to see things from my husband’s perspective. And give love, forgiveness and grace where it is needed. Our personalities couldn’t be more opposite of we tried. I am a sanguine, choleric. He is a melancholy, phlegmatic. My love language is quality time and words. His love language is acts of service and gifts. I am aware of the differences, and celebrating them. You may be thinking to yourself, what is a love language? If you are, I encourage you to read my blog: today I choose love, which explains the value of learning your love languages aswell as your spouse’s love language.
Marriage is a tough one, they see you at your worst, and well as much as you love all their strengths, when you are living with them every day, those annoying habits do seem to stand out. Maybe it’s messing up your incredibly tidy Tupperware shelf to find one container, that possibly wasn’t even the correct container for that item of food anyway. Or maybe they rearrange the dishwasher right after you arranged it so well in the beginning. Maybe they forget where you put the children’s panadol, even though it has been on the same shelf of the same cupboard for the past two years. But you still love them anyway. Because lets face it, they love you despite all your flaws and shortcomings. We can’t change anyone else, but we can change our perspective and our reactions.
I understand my personality makes me quite a people-orientated, enthusiastic and productive person. Whilst Tony can get along with anyone, he doesn’t quite seek out, like I do lots of social interaction. He is a good man who prefers a quiet environment, values organisation, and an opportunity to analyse. Together we make a great team. I think it’s important to celebrate our differences, and use them to inspire and encourage one another.
I love spending quality time with my husband. But do understand that is my love language. I understand acts of service are what fills his love tank. I make our kitchen a priority, when he walks in from work to a sparkling kitchen I know it brings him joy! I know that making or buying him gifts makes him feel valued and appreciated. It’s those small things that I have been choosing to do over the course of the past four weeks that I believe have helped our marriage grow from strength to strength.
A happy marriage doesn’t just help you and your spouse, it has a direct impact on your little family and the community at large. So why not make some small changes today that will show your spouse how much you value and appreciate them. Remember love.